Holidaying with Another Family: Pros, Cons and Tips

Tell most children they are going on holiday with their best friend's family and the excitement is instant. A shared trip can be brilliant for parents too, with company in the evenings and extra hands with the little ones. But a week together in the heat, with tired children, can also test the strongest friendship. Here is how to decide whether it will work, and how to make it a success if it will.

The advantages

• Built-in playmates. Children who have friends to play with are far less likely to look to you for constant entertainment.
• Shared babysitting. Taking turns to watch the children means each couple can have an evening, or a morning, to themselves.
• Lower costs. A large villa or apartment split between two families can work out cheaper per head than two separate rooms or properties.
• Adult company. Some resorts make it easy to meet other families; others don't. Travelling with friends guarantees good company once the children are in bed.
• Shared cooking. In self-catering accommodation, taking turns to cook gives everyone nights off.

The potential pitfalls

• Children who won't be separated. Once they are used to being together, suggesting a day out on your own can spark protests.
• Too much togetherness. Sharing a kitchen, a pool and every meal for a week or more can wear thin, even between close friends.
• Decision paralysis. With eight people to please, it is easy to spend so long debating plans that the day slips away.
• Different parenting styles. Strict bedtimes in one family and a relaxed approach in the other can cause friction, especially when the children start comparing.
• Money. Splitting bills fairly gets awkward if the families have different budgets, numbers of children or eating and drinking habits.

Be honest before you book

Ask yourselves a few frank questions. Do the children genuinely get on, or do they squabble after a couple of hours? Do both families want the same kind of holiday, whether that is lazy beach days or busy sightseeing? Are your approaches to bedtimes, screens and treats broadly similar? And are you close enough friends to say, kindly, when you need some time apart?

Tips for a happy shared holiday

1. Plan some days apart. Build family-only time into the plan from the start, so nobody takes it personally. Letting the children choose what you do on those days helps them accept it.
2. Sketch an itinerary in advance. A rough plan of trips and activities agreed before you go cuts down the daily debate and makes sure everyone gets to do something they want.
3. Agree the treat rules. Decide together how you will handle requests for ice creams, souvenirs and late nights, so one set of children isn't watching the other tuck in.
4. Settle the money question upfront. Options include a 50/50 split, a shared kitty topped up equally or in proportion to family size, or each family paying its own way. For restaurants, ask for separate bills when you order. Whatever you choose, agree it before you travel.
5. Consider separate space. Two apartments in the same complex, or a villa with a separate annexe, gives each family somewhere to retreat to. If you do share, make sure each family has its own living area, not just separate bedrooms.
6. Travel independently on days out. Two cars rather than one large hire vehicle lets each family leave when its children have had enough, without dragging everyone home early.
7. Talk about bedtime. If your routines differ, agree how evenings will work so neither family feels pressured to change.

Choosing the right accommodation

The layout of where you stay makes a big difference. Look for properties with bedrooms spread across different floors or wings, plenty of outdoor space and a pool that is easy to supervise. For help weighing up the options, see our guide to choosing a family hotel or villa, and our tips on saving money on accommodation.

Whether a shared holiday works comes down to how well you know each other, how closely your holiday styles match and how clearly you agree the practical details. Get those right and it can be one of the most memorable trips your children have. And if you are after more evenings off, read our ideas on making time for you on a family holiday.