How to Make Time for You on a Family Holiday

Family holidays are so often planned around the children that the adults come home more tired than when they left. But a holiday that works for the whole family includes some genuine rest and time together for parents too. Happy, relaxed parents also tend to mean happier children. Here is how to build some grown-up time into your next trip.

1. Get the sleeping arrangements right

This is the single biggest factor. If the whole family shares one room, the adults either go to bed at 7.30pm or sit in the dark whispering. Look instead for:

• family suites or interconnecting rooms with a separate sleeping area for the children;
• apartments or villas with a living room, so you can put the children to bed at their normal time and still have your evening;
• a room with a balcony or terrace, if separate rooms aren't possible, so you can sit outside once the children are asleep.

Children who keep their usual bedtime are also far less likely to be tired and grumpy by the middle of the week. A portable blackout blind and a familiar night light help them settle in a new room.

2. Use the kids' club without guilt

Many parents feel a pang of guilt about booking a kids' club when family time is precious. But children often love them: new friends, activities they wouldn't get at home and a break from their siblings. A few sessions during the week give adults the chance to read, swim lengths, go for a run, book a massage or simply have a conversation without interruption. Everyone comes back together refreshed. When choosing a club, check the age groups, staff ratios and what activities are on offer, and whether you need to book ahead.

3. Dinner for two, even without a babysitter

If the hotel offers a reliable babysitting service, or you are travelling with grandparents, an evening out is a real treat. If not, you can still make the evenings special:

• In self-catering accommodation, buy good local produce and cook together once the children are in bed.
• Order room service or a takeaway and eat on the balcony.
• Put together a picnic of local cheeses, bread and fruit, and enjoy it under the stars.

4. The family sunset stroll

A walk after dinner to watch the sun go down can be a lovely end to the day, even with children in tow. It works best with a little one who will drift off in the buggy or carrier, or older children happy to run ahead and play. Take a moment to sit and watch the sky change; it is surprising how restorative ten quiet minutes can be.

5. Take turns

Simple, but effective: each adult takes a morning or afternoon off while the other is on child duty. One gets a lie-in, the other gets a long walk or a session by the pool with a book. Swap the next day. It costs nothing and needs no booking.

6. Travel with another family, or with grandparents

Going away with friends means the children have built-in playmates and the adults can take turns babysitting. Choose your companions carefully, though: you need to get on well and be comfortable saying when you need some family time on your own. Our guide to holidaying with another family covers the pros, cons and practicalities. Holidays with grandparents can work in the same way, giving them precious time with the children and you a few hours off.

7. Choose the right type of holiday

Some holidays naturally leave more room for adult downtime: resorts with good children's facilities, a villa with a pool you can see from the terrace, or a destination where the days are unhurried. If you are torn between options, our guide to choosing a family hotel or villa and our ideas for a relaxing holiday with children can help.

Making time for yourselves on holiday isn't selfish; it is part of what makes the trip work for everyone. Start with the accommodation, add a few kids' club sessions or child-free hours, and you'll come home rested rather than needing another holiday.